Listening, really listening

Recently I was listening to a podcast about the idea of deep listening, and how that contributes to the greater collective of consciousness. Have you ever noticed that you are forming your response or thinking about all the things you need to do while you are “listening” to someone talk?

Our wants, needs, and fears often shape how we are listening. If we are seeking approval, or worried about judgment or conflict we can be drawn into ourselves and our thoughts to form our response or defense. I have found myself getting excited when a topic that I know a lot about comes up, and instead of listening I’m foaming at the mouth to rattle off my contribution to the conversation...unintentionally missing that opportunity for a deeper connection. When receiving criticism, the natural response is to formulate a defense instead of listening for an opportunity for growth. I can feel the sinking of my stomach and my breath stop when I’m receiving criticism...and I have to remind myself to listen fully and hear what I can gain. It can trigger past experiences, and stir our own negative affirmations about ourselves. Most of us have a fear of being wrong, and that can make it difficult for us to listen to opposing views from others with an open mind, listen to who they really are, and read between the lines. Leaning in and listening with compassion can create that deeper connection.

Feeling like there is never enough time affects our ability to listen deeply. We are flying by the seat of our pants ...always going going…..making grocery and to do lists in our heads while we are listening to podcasts, music, television, and having conversations. I am finding that pausing to fully listen has deepened my connection to people and myself. Set the intention to listen fully, and find anchors that will keep you present. Breath and simple mantras have been my anchors. Deep listening for me is a continuing work in progress and I’m always practicing.

Pick a couple of people to practice your deep listening skills on, and keep in mind that some of the more challenging ones can be the most educational.

Let me know how it goes!