Feeling Through Feelings (vs. Thinking Through Them)

When I sit down to write these letters, I try to share something I’ve been working through in my own life. This time, it’s about feeling our feelings. Not figuring them out. Not fixing them. Just being with them in the body.

I’m not a therapist or trained in somatic healing or meditation, but exploring this work has quietly changed my life. It’s something I come back to, again and again - especially when I feel overwhelmed, off-center, or emotionally charged. The most powerful thing I’ve learned is that we don’t always need to understand our feelings to honor them.

Feelings aren’t always rational. But they are always valid.

So often, we try to make sense of what we’re feeling from a purely mental place. But emotions live in the body. And when we approach them only through logic, we can feel stuck or even more confused. Somatic work offers an alternative - it invites us to gently turn toward sensation and to get curious about what our body is holding.

Here’s what that might look like for me:
When I feel triggered or reactive, I pause and ask myself - where is this showing up in my body? I take a few slow breaths, allowing my nervous system to settle. Then I tune in:
Does this feeling have a shape? A color? Is it still or moving? Is it deep or shallow? Does it come with an image, a memory, a younger version of myself?

I try not to push anything away. I just notice. And something happens in that noticing. Over time, the edges soften. The emotion might not vanish, but it no longer controls me.

Sometimes I imagine these tender parts of myself like a child tugging on my sleeve, just trying to get my attention. I’ll speak to that part gently - “I see you. I know you’re scared. Thank you for trying to protect me. But we’ve learned new ways now. You can rest. I’ll take care of us.”

That kind of internal dialogue may sound simple, but it builds self-trust. It reminds me that I don’t have to push parts of myself away to feel safe or whole. I just have to show up for them. Not to fix - just to be with.

One of the things I love most about East Asian Medicine is that it doesn’t separate emotions from the rest of the body. Emotions are part of the landscape. When we hold onto feelings without space to process them, they can become “stuck”- and that stagnation can show up physically: pain, tension, inflammation, digestive issues, and more. Sitting with our emotions in the body isn’t just healing emotionally, it’s also one way to support our physical health.

And while not every pain or imbalance is emotional in origin, everything in the body is connected. When stress builds, the body feels it. When emotion flows, so does Qi. It’s all part of the same system.

One important note: some emotional wounds or traumas are too big to face alone, especially at first. Knowing when to seek out a skilled therapist or somatic practitioner is part of caring for ourselves too. You don’t have to go it alone.

Wherever you are in your own emotional process, I hope you’ll find small ways to listen and honor what arises. The body has so much wisdom. And though we don’t have all the answers, we begin to understand by simply paying attention.